Surgery Day

So today was the day I've been waiting for since my injury. Yep, surgery day. I started my day at 5am and got a hot shower, got my son ready for school and packed my bag. Dropped my little man off at school and headed to Kaiser.

Got checked in and headed to the ER. Met the Doctor, nurses and the drug pusher (anesthesiologist). I opted for the spinal block which made me completely numb from the waist downs. The I.V. is in, and they put me on some Valium and other pain pills before shooting me up in the spine. The next 2 hours are a blur.... I could feel a thing but could hear them talking during the process as I faded in and out.

Once they finished they wheeled me back to recovery where I waited with my nurse and got more drugs. I am in this room for another hour before they move me out to post-op room. And this is where the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me when down.

So my leaves and my friend is there to take me home. She is sitting on next to the bed while two nurses checked my chart and blood pressure. They turn to each other and start talking and another nurse comes over with this months Avon book and they start going through it at the foot of my bed.

I don't remember it if was 5-6 nurses there when it happened. I reach over to tap my friend on the shoulder to tell her I am just now starting to get barely get the feeling in my foot, when a series of farts rip through the area. It sounded like the 4th of July. I look at my friend and ask "did one of those nurses just break ass?" Then it happened again and I'm like OMG these nasty bitches. They got silent and dispersed like someone was shooting, minus the running and screaming.

That's when I realized. I was the one farting. I had no idea and was unable to stop them. Still numb from the waist down had affected my ability to hold back my gas. Even though I am dark chocolate I turned red like a fire truck.

I am certain that they discharged me earlier than they should. My legs were still wobbly when I got out of the wheelchair to get in the car. And I my hotheadedness stopped just as soon as I realized they rushed me out. It's was ok though I wanted to go home anyway. SO there....

Not to mention my gas was not the only thing I couldn't hold in that bed. BOOM!