What I want is a meaningful overnight relationship.

I'm not against getting married again one day but, today is just not that day!

I've decided to try out celibacy

Yes you read that right. Your boy is going to give "IT" up and try out celibacy.


At least for the weekend while my kids are home.

Making the Band 4 --- DRAMA

Ok so I don't post on the Making the Band series that much but I thought it funny to post on it today. Did you guys watch that final episode last night? Talk about DRAMA. First with the girls of Danity Kane. Aundrea doesn't show up, so that's a big sign right there. They spin it like she was with family and all this was to much for her but I think it had to do with Aubrey being there. There was so much tension in room that you couldn't even but it. You had to just chip away at it.

The best part of the evening is when Sway asked each girl if she thought they would get back together as a group. What was so funny was when they got to D. Woods she not only didn't answer the questions but took a stab at Dawn. She said she was doing her own thing as well as others in the group doing solo projects "BIG UP TO DAWN". That was one of the supposed issues with the group. The girls didn't like that Diddy was working with Dawn on some solo project.

Dawn spoke about Aubrey doing Broadway while apart of DK and D. Woods not showing up for a DK show to go see Aubrey perform on Broadway.

Aubrey spoke about none of the girls supported her except D. Woods and plugged a new reality TV show about her working on Broadway etc.

The funny part is Aundrea and Dawn have the best voices in the group yet the D Woods and Aubrey are the ones making the most noise.

We know how Diddy works. Don't be surprised if he doesn't release Dawn's album against something that D Woods lets out. Don't be surprised if Diddy has a new show against this Aubrey show too. This cat fight isn't over yet and now that all the girls are out of their contracts the real mud will start to fly.

Oh yea, somebody tell Donnie that men don't wear short shirts. That shit aint cute Bruh. And I think D Woods is kinda cute but those green pants were U.G.L.Y. and made her legs look like tree stumps.

For the Love of Ray-J Finale

So it comes down to three girls. Danger, Cocktail, and Unique. Danger had been the early front runner while Unique has come on strong down the stretch. I picked Danger and Cocktail from the start and figured Unique was there for the drama factor being that she didn't get along with many girls in the house. She played several of the girls and had them dropping like it was a Nelly Video. Cocktail used the snitching technique to move near the top and also was responsible for several girls getting the boot.




Danger had an early connection with Ray and it was obvious to everyone in the house. During week 2 of the show it was reported that she was pregnant and it was with Ray. She claimed to have slept with him every night after the first night and that was when she became pregnant. She later retracted all of these statements after VH1 claimed that she was making it all up. This was the first indication to me that she wasn't the winner. It sounded like someone who was mad and was striking back. She did continue on the show and was very much in the mix coming in to the final episode.

Her stock started dropping in the final couple of episodes leading up the the finale. She cracked during the lie detector test where she admitted to attacking, stalking and fighting with ex-boyfriends. She also admitted to having thoughts about wanting to kill another girl in the house. Kiss of death 1 was when Brandy told Ray she was crazy and not to pick her. Strike 2, Ray finds out that Danger had slept with one of the guys in his posse. Strike 3, mamma Ray J said he would end up in jail in six months if he picked her.

Ray started the final episode by sending Danger home (for her own safety) Yea right, he finally saw the writing on the wall. Like my sister said after seeing her for the first time. THAT BITCH IS CRAZY.












Unique was a slow starter and after some rocking challenges finished strong. She manipulated three girls and they all went home. She played the game very strategic and ended up in the drivers seat near the end. I didn't care for her because she had that I'm better than you bitches attitude and always claimed to be sooo classy. She was pulling it off up until she and danger got in to it a verbal confrontation. She started acting like it was her show and was mad when Ray didn't run to check on her after the fight. She continued to try and make other girls jealous about her solo time with Ray when it wasn't even all that. It didn't work. Her big mistake was flying to her house in Cleveland she told Ray to leave Ray J at the door and bring Willie Norwood Jr. to the door. I would have cut her ass right there on the plane but he went to her house, had a nice dinner and didn't crack under pressure from her mother's questions.








And the last girl was Cocktail. She started the show crying about Ray and she cried when ever the wind blew. She was super sensitive and that's ok but damn, she cried almost every episode. She also was the biggest snitch in the house and was ratting out every girl in the place. It worked out for her in the end and got her to the final three. The difference between her and Unique was she seemed to actually be there for Ray. Unique was trying to act all cool and play that I don't chase no man role. Cocktail was like I'm here, I'm chasing so what. She had some rocky moments leading up to the finale. The other girls tried to burst her bubble and out her about being on another reality TV show. It didn't work. Unique was trying to make her jealous about her solo date and dinner leading up the the final elimination and it didn't work either. What I thought was going to kill her was she is from a REAL Hispanic family. I'm talking rice and beans with every meal, women serve the men type family. Ray was good until it got to the food. They served him some Birro which is Goat and he wasn't feeling it. Now Ray grew up in LA so I'm sure he has had some of the more exotic Mexican food before but he was acting all brand new in this situation. Now Cocktail's family was traditional and a good friend pointed out to me that she knew it when they showed her house. It was a blue house. I'm told that is a sign and now I'm going to drive around my city and check that out. I'm going to find a blue house and see who comes out of it.

So fast forward past meeting the family and Ray takes both girls to Las Vegas for the final eliminations. He spent night one with Unique and it seemed boring. In fact Cocktail made mention that he hair and makeup was still in tact so she couldn't have had that good a time.

Night two was much different and I think it was the deciding factor. Ray had a stripper pole in the shower in his room and him and Cocktail used it, steamed up the whole spot. She went back to her room the next day in a robe and hair looking like she was Tracey Chapman and was driving in that fast car.

In the end, he picked Cocktail and it was a much better match. I was thinking if he didn't pick Cocktail he wasn't picking any of them. In the end it was a good choice. I don't know about for love but baby looked good in that shower.






The funniest part of the final episode was Danger's last confessional. She said she didn't care that she was going home she was going to be with Ray because they loved each other. I was pulling for her early on but damn if that girl didn't go psycho.

I can't wait til the reunion, it's going to JUMP OFF!

I don't like no bad ass kids

PERIOD! I do not like bad ass kids. I just want to whoop their ass. I'm talking about that race car track whooping. That extension cord whooping. I had a run in with some people this weekend. I like to hang out with them but their kids. FUCK NO! They want to just climb all over you, touch your shit, mess up your crib, your kids rooms, your car.

I know your mamma don't have nice shit but don't come around here trying to mess up mine. I can honestly tell yall this. I have met some very nice girls over the years and could really see myself with them if it wasn't for their bad ass kids.

You know the type. You are sitting there and this fucker is bouncing off the walls and his mamma is telling him over and over and over and over the same thing. The only time I have to repeat myself to my kids is if they didn't hear me. PERIOD!

Not these little fuckers. You see it all the time. You pop into walmart to get some soap and decide to see what CDs are on sale. You walk through and these little roaches are running around the damn store like it's the local park. They are bouncing balls, riding bikes, IN THE STORE. Mamma can't find them. They are in the toy aisle. Come get little be-be and them.

Oh and I don't believe in A.D.D. Get off your ass and put that kid to work on something. Make him go outside and play instead of keeping him in the house watching TV and video games. Wear his little ass out then he will be to tired to act up.

Damn I'm getting worked up just thinking about it again.

It’s not you, it’s me. I don’t like you.

So I've told you guys about this girl I was messing around with. Well it's gotten to that point where I refuse to look past her issues and gave her the boot. Now in '09 I promised to change, so I tried the breakup without cussing her out tactic. It's not working.

Help me understand, because if it were me, I would get it.

Text msg from over the weekend.

Girl - I thought you were calling me back last night.

Me - I didn't want to cut into Manny's time so I called this AM. (Manny is the dude she fwd me his text how he was looking forward to seeing her)

Girl - STOP that, you should have come take care of me.

Me - And I quote - You don't need me. Manny was taking care of you.

Girl - I don't need you just like I don't need any man. I want you.. that is the difference

Me - Naw, you made it very clear, you got options and you don't need me.

Girl - Okay, Why is it always like this. I give up. I QUIT.

Me - Okay

NeXt day

Girl -

Me - Thought you quit. Ask manny.

Girl - it's a question not a date. Manny is a nurse so when i have a medical question I will ask him. I'm asking a computer questions.

Me - I'm not your computer tech. Call the next on the list or I hear Geek Squad helps those who can't help themselves.

Girl - I thought you remained friends with your exes. Why did you sleep with me that night n e way?

Me- You ain't my ex! I'm no longer sleepin with you. Here is a page from your book. Stop contacting me. It's a wrap. We are done.

Girl - But why sleep with me that night. I will answer it for you. You used me for sex.

Me - Used you for sex? I don't need you for sex. I did it because I could. U are either bipolar or passive aggressive. Either case I don't want the trouble, goodbye.

Girl - You are the one. GOOD BYE. Grow up Darnell.

Next day -

Girl - I am mad at you but I miss u.

Next day -

Girl - I miss talking to you first thing in the morning.



WHY? Why won't she just go away? Help your boy figure it out?

Now I could care less about her and some other dude. I just used it as my out since she was dumb enough to try and throw it in my face. Hell, maybe I should start sending her some of my texts that I get. Maybe that will do the trick.

What kind of Idiot are you?

So I've been fooling around with this girl for the last few weeks and it's already been that drama type of thing that you just don't like to deal with. The only reason I've put up with it was because my regulars seem to be trying to teach ME a lesson. HAHA, good luck on that.

So anyway this new girl, lets call her Gina for the purpose of this blog. Gina and I have only seen each other a handful of times since we first met. I've hit it a few times and it's really nothing to tell the boys about. Below average oral skills, not bad any other way because baby has exceptional flexibility. The one thing that I realized the last time she was on top was that she has horrible breath. I'm talking that breath that you make that lemon face and your eyes start watering. And what does a chick with bad breath always try to do; yes she kept trying to kiss me. I must have looked like my 4 year old when I try to give him some medicine. I was moving my head from side to side dodging this death trap full of teeth.

Anyway I digress. So the issue at hand is this. Gina lives like 30 minutes away from me. So she decides she wanted to come visit the Chocolate Boy Wonder (That's ME). It was about 9:30 when she told me she was leaving and she mentioned she was in sweats and asked if it was ok. HELL NO it aint ok. I know she is trying to do this on purpose to test me so I returned serve. I waited til she was about 15 minutes in to her drive and I texted her that my sister and mother were at my house but leaving soon. 90% of the women I deal with are deathly afraid of my sister and my mother. Put them together and it's a no go.

So of course the phone blows up with the I'm not coming, I'm not dressed right. My response, cold and calculated. You should have thought about that before you came out the house like you were going to the gym. I just wanted to prove a point, if you don't want people to see you dressed like that, don't show up to my house like that. I let her know that the ladies were leaving soon and she should be ok.

So an hour passes by and she still isn't here. Now like did she turn around go change and on her way? So I go to call and realize I left my phone in the bathroom. I got get it and I have two missed calls and a text from her. I pick it up and call her back. I am greeted by some four letter words and all that. She is cussing me out left and right. I'm thrown back by all of it and ask her what is her problem.

So here it is and please tell me if I'm wrong.

She said she gets to my house and parks directly across the street. She calls me, waits a few then texts. I don't answer so she goes to the gas station to get gas and then calls and texts again before going home. Remember now, I said it was 30 minutes one way to my house. Now when you are in front of my house you have a clear view of my front door. I have a screen door and when the front door is open at night, you can see straight through to my couch. You can also hear my TV or stereo if it is on.

So my question to her was, if you came all the way here, and were outside.

WHY THE FUCK WOULDN'T YOU RING THE DOORBELL?

She claims she thought my sister and mother might still be there and was scared to show up at the door dressed like she was. Sweats, T-Shirt with no bra.

My response was. You could clearly see in to my house and see that nobody was sitting on the couch. You could clearly see no other cars parked on the street or they would be parked exactly where you were parked.

WHY THE FUCK WOULDN'T YOU RING THE DOORBELL?

I explained to her that I didn't think she was too smart and calmly proceeded to make her drive back over now at midnight.

So what I learned about this one.

1. Dumb as dirt
2. Bad Breath AGAIN
3. She Snores like a big fat white dude that had been drinking beer and works construction.
4. She has had her last taste of the Chocolate.
5. I need to find a good woman and settle down. I can't continue to deal with people who are beneath me. I'm going to go Chris Brown on one of these fools.

10 Rules for coming to my house (for the ladies)

1. No ponytails - Do something with your wig. We might go out to eat or something.

2. No Sweats - Don't show up looking a homeless person. You don't know if we are going somewhere.

3. If you are supposed to be there at 9. Be there at 9. Don't call at 9 talking about you are running late. Damnit you are already late.

4. If you are going to cancel then don't wait til the time you are supposed to be there to call and cancel. Call ahead of time, you knew before then that you wouldn't make it.

5. Don't leave SHIT. You don't in on the mortgage, don't be leaving anything. No toothbrushes, no hair products, no bras, NADA. Take your shit with you or it may get thrown out if I find it later.

6. NO SMOKING - No explanation needed.

7. Don't ask to switch the channel. - Get yourself some TIVO and tape your shows at your house. I don't go to your house and ask you to turn on the game. I'm not turning off the fight to watch The Real Housewives of Timbuktu.

8. Eat before you arrive. - If I didn't say I'm taking you to dinner or cooking then I'm not feeding your ass. Don't show up on an empty stomach.

9. If I do happen to cook dinner for you. Expect to do the dishes. You might not actually do them but be ready for it anyway. If you get something to eat out of my fridge and I am not eating, You are definitely washing your dishes. Or better yet, get a paper plate or plastic cup.

10. If you made it this far then chances our we have or are having sex. You don't get to pick what side of the bed you sleep on. It's usually the wet spot side. You don't get to monitor the AC / FAN or windows. It's to my liking. This aint your house!


And most importantly and I can't stress this one enough. You don't get to stay in my bed in my house while I run off to work. Get your funky ass up and go to work or at least go home and wash your ass. You don't put in on this mortgage, you don't get to lounge or lay up. When I leave you leave. NO EXCEPTIONS!

For the Love of Ray J - Bad Girls, Bad Girls Watcha Gonna Do?

Tensions continue to rise as the cliques in the house clash even further. Ray asks to find out about the girls' passions and it turns out that four of them love to be scantily clad, no matter what they're doing.

The week starts off with Stacks going home to tend to family issues. Her father was going through cancer treatment and she went home to be with him.

Ray gives the remaining girls 30min to showcase their passion. This episode was boring as hell. The highlight of the show was Cashmere outing Cocktail for being on the Bad Girls Club Season 1 as a gold digger.

Turns out Ray already knew so it didn't have the same effect as the girls were hoping.

At the end of it all Cashmere asks to go home cause she couldn't take the competition anymore.

For the Love of Ray J - The Squeaky Wheel Gets the Oil

A lot of tension has been building in the house between the girls so Ray decides everyone needs to blow off some steam for the next challenge. With the help of renowned boxing trainer Jack Mosley, the girls get a lesson in boxing basics before they take on one another in some very intense ring fighting! The winning team gets a night at a hot dance club with Ray for some fun and craziness.

So first fight is Lil Hood vs. Feisty. Lil Hood comes out and knocks Fiesty down. Feisty gets off the ground and wins the fight. So the next fight is supposed to be cocktail v stacks but Unique gets scared and talks the rest of her group to not fight claiming they are too much of a lady to behave like this.

So the challenge goes to Danger, Cocktail, Chardonnay and Lil Hood. And because she was the only one from her team to fight and she actually won, Ray decides to bring Feisty along to the club also. This pisses off Lil Hood because she feels that she has to share Ray with Feisty let along the rest of the girls on her team.

So the ladies and Ray hit the club and party in the VIP. Drinks are flowing and Lil Hood gets a little too forceful. She tells Ray that he can take her in to the bathroom and get it popping. Now 9 out of 10 times if a girl says that to a guy it's hot. This was that 10th time though and it was trashy.

The next day Cocktail gets into Lil Hoods head about the night before and sets her off right before elimination. Lil Hood calls a house meeting to confront the other girls about them talking shit about her. Problem is they didnt. She ends up looking like an ass in front of everyone and they are all laughing at her which sets her off more and more.

Lil Hood is furious from the entire situation. She goes ahead and eliminates herself. But before she goes, she does get in a good shot at Ray. She tells him that he is a spoiled brat and wouldn't be shit without the fame and the money. She said she was REAL and was out like shout. I guess!

For the Love of Ray - Something about Larry

Ok so I've been slacking on the recaps so here I am to get you caught up real quick.

The girls are now aware that Cocktail is snitching on all of them and tensions are high. Ray starts the show off by getting into the jacuzzi with some of the girls and gets real close to Cocktail.

The next morning the girls find out what their challenge is. They have to put on a old town Motown revue for Ray and his father. Unique is claiming that this is a slam dunk because of her music background. So the teams get broken down. Unique, Chardonnay and Fiesty is group 1. Danger, Stacks and Caviar is group 2, and Cocktail, Lil Hood and Cashmere make up group 3.

So Group 2 goes first. And it is a train wreck. Danger is the lead singer and sounds like she is tone deaf. Caviar can't dance to save her life and looks like she just got off of a boat and still had sea legs. HILARIOUS.

Group 3 is next and they can't sing but hold it together for the most part. Everything was good until they break into some booty shaking, in front of his dad. Not a good look.

Group 1 is on deck and Unique is strutting like they got this. She is the only girl with a voice. She starts into her song and is flowing until BAM! She forgets the words. AGAIN. I mean she totally screws it up AGAIN just like in the video chat. If it wasn't for her team members they would have just been the worst. They other two girls are bringing them from the dead and here comes Unique with the ad-libs like she was Keisha Cole.

Group 3 wins the challenge and Cocktail wins the solo date which was spending the night with Ray in the club.

Ray takes the other two girls out to wine tasting and Lil Hood embarrasses herself. She was claiming that her and Ray had so much chemistry but the video showed otherwise.

Caviar must have been feeling the heat she shows up to Rays room before eliminations to give Ray a little lap dance. It makes Ray suspicious and he takes a hint given to him by Cocktail and he checks the phone records and find out Caviar had been calling a guy back in Chicago. Turns out Ray knew the guy and this dude, Larry outs Caviar. Said she was just there for exposure.

Fast forward to elimination.

Caviar gets the boot. In fact Ray told her to get her shit and get the hell out. RIGHT NOW!

I think Caviar saved Lil Hood cause she was for sure getting sent home before this turn of events.