Last night

I had a dirty dream... I have surgery monday and I can't really act on it but I was dreaming about fishing last night. I can't wait to get back out on the water and catch a big one. This knee injury is really starting to mess with me. I haven't been out since October. That's the longest stretch of inactivity fishing since I was young.

And to make matters worst I got all that brand new fishing gear for my birthday and I can't even use any of it. I don't even like walking into my garage cause my gear is all there. Man this is going to be some long rehab....

Forgotten

So, birthday has passed and I get an email yesterday saying I'm sorry, forgive me, happy birthday. Now missing my birthday is a capital offense punishable by permanent ignore in my book. The average chick is discard like old hot dog water for not calling before noon on my birthday. Special chicks are deleted and never spoken to again for not acknowledging my birthday, but what about one of the women that I can say that I have truly loved in my life? What is the punishment for someone that close to me? We aren't talking someone that I just met at a club or online. This girl has been a part of my life since way back.

She has yet to call still. Her email made it worse. She had the nerve to try and flip it back on me like it's my fault. It's not that I'm anti marriage. I just don't see myself doing it again anytime soon. But she is one that I would consider it. She is one I would move across the country to be with if my kids were grown and out of the house. I'm in to this girl that much and she breaks the biggest rule in my book.

We email back and forth and the emails start getting hostile. She knows she fucked up and she knows I won't just let it go. I want to know why. I press the issue and something is wrong. She isn't telling me everything and I know it. I know she is with someone and she brings up my marriage. The fact that I never told her I got married. She found out from my mother. She has always kept in touch with my mother and grandparents. It's been damn near 20 years and my grandfather still talks about how I should have married that girl. I don't have the heart to tell him she was married for most of the time we were together.

My mother hated my wife. I say hate but that isn't a strong enough word. I think my mother called her and told her purposely. She has always loved "her". I'd show up at my moms house sometimes when I was in the Navy and "she" would be there. Having been there visiting for some time and I not know anything about it.

Having said all this, it is that much more hurtful that she didn't at least call or text. She emailed how she still loves me and thinks about me all the time. So she is living with some dude and engaged. I know she didn't want to tell me that but I got it out of her. She was backed into a corner and when I see blood I go all out like a shark. I had a few days to think about it and finally came to a decision.

Delete.......

Delete her from my contacts, out of my phone and from my email. It's a wrap. If "WE" were going to happen it would have already. Now people reading might think I'm overreacting and would go back etc. But those who know me, know how I am. Especially about my birthday. For someone who supposedly holds me in such high regard and I feel the same for them, to just disregard the single most sacred thing to me is inexcusable.

Three little bitches...

So your boy turned 40 last Friday. 2010 hasn’t been good so far for me. I’ve got to have surgery to repair broken cartilage in my knee. My stomach is jacked up from the pain meds and of course I need to lose weight. That being said, my birthday is the best part of the year. I could care less about Christmas and Father’s day because those are days for the masses. JAN 29th is MY day. I refuse to share it with anyone, don’t accept anything less than the best on MY birthday.

That being said….. The days before my birthday I start getting random text messages from females I’ve dealt with in the past. Now getting a hello out of the blue is no cause for alarm “NORMALLY” but the week of my birthday hmmmmmm. So let’s call these women the three little tricks.

Trick 1. She texts and goes on about she has been thinking about me and misses me and asks am I single. Of course I’m like WHY???? She goes on with some bullshit story of how she has been thinking how she didn’t really give me a chance and she knows she messed up and wants to see if we can be an item. Again I’m like WHY???? Why now? It’s been a long time. Why all of a sudden? Was it the rain storm we had out here in SoCal? Did the rain make you lonely and feel the need to find someone to cuddle with? Are you horny? I know people always say rainy weather is the best time for love making. Of course she denies both and just rambles about how she didn’t give me a chance and how she wants to do so now. I’m thinking in the back of my head, Uh, Bitch…. I hit it the first night I met you. I had all the chances I wanted with you…. It didn’t work out because YOUR SHIT WAS WHACK!!!!! I let her know that I’m cool and she isn’t what I’m looking for at this time…….


Trick 2. She texts me and very similar to the first. She wants to spend time with me on my birthday. So I tell her.. Let me get this straight. We haven’t talked that much in months and you want me to give you the hottest day of the year? You want me to forget everybody and anybody else and just say oh hell yea, you can spend my birthday with me. Please. Are you fucking insane. Why now you want to spend time with me? Why all of a sudden? Oh you want to spend time on your terms when it’s good for you? Naw I’m cool. Kick rocks….


Trick 3. Now this is the kicker. She stays on the script much like the other two. But unlike them her house was built out of stone. She goes on about how she misses spending time with me and about all the good times we had together blah blah blah. I just cut her off and say thanks but no thanks. I’m not interested in pursuing any type of relationship with you. She is thrown back, and is like why? So I go in on her and explain my reasons. She is like wow, why haven’t you ever told me any of this before. I’m like I had no intention on calling you. You called me. So now you know, PEACE!

So I spent my birthday with friends and family. I had a great time and I felt the love all around. I had some drinks, some sex, and some great food. It wasn’t the big party that 30 was but I plan on having many more birthdays so I’ll get that party down the road. I also got the best present I could ask for. My daughter brought home straight A’s on her report card. All in all, I’m feeling pretty blessed.