What's going on with these chicks in 2012?

So this chick I used to run thru hits me out of the blue. You know the call... Where they are putting out feelers... "Oh, I was just thinking about you... I didn't want anything just wondering how YOU're doing" blah blah...

I'm old enough to know what this is. So I hit her with "So what are you thinking about me?" I throw the bait out and wait for the nibble.... WHAM!!!!! No nibble.. I got a full bite... "Oh I was thinking about how you used to blow my back out" So being the fisherman that I am.. I set the hook. I'm talking Bassmaster Classic would have been proud of me. "So you miss that huh? Well we need to revisit that real soon."

So we end the call and I tell her that I'll be in touch. Now I have no intention on driving back down that street ever, due to this girl being on of those people that ALWAYS have something negative going on. You know the type, every time you talk to them they got a problem. Problems with their car, kids, job, money etc etc...

So I call her in a few weeks and I'm like hey what's up. How you doing. Totally expecting something negative. She's like "I'm fine, how are you" I tell her that I have been thinking about out last conversation just to see if I still had that fish on the hook. She then proceeds to not only break the line but also take my best lure. :(

She blindsides me with the "I have found Christ, and I'm trying to live my life right. But we can still be friends......"

WTF

I was speechless... and that doesn't happen to me. So I respond with the first thing that came to mind. "GOOD LUCK WITH THAT" She asks me which part.. I told her BOTH!!!

So I chalk one up to the big guy upstairs.... No worries... About two weeks later I get a text from her. I'm like, damn that didn't last long. She hits me with the I just wanted to see how you were line. I'm like WHY? We go back and forth for like 5 minutes about how she is my friend and she still worries about me etc.

Then she hits me with it......




CAN I BORROW $80...........................

#Girl BYE

So I had to make a quick run thru Kaiser this morning to drop off my cpap machine. In and Out 5min is what I told myself when I drove up. I get out, walking with a purpose past the line of people getting flu shots down to respiratory medicine. I wait in line for what feels like two football games. And I finally get to the front where I'm greeted by this young plump lady with a thick tongue. You know the type, she starts talking with a lisp. She puts on this big KOOL-aide smile and batting her eyes and asks me for my card etc.

I hand her my card and my machine and she starts to go through the bag to make sure all the parts to the machine were there. She then looks me DEAD IN MY EYE and tell me. "You know you look just like my Ex.... I'm like what is he doing in here" I try and play it off like I didn't hear her but she is staring at me like Urkle thinking about Laura Winslow.

I tell her "Well don't start cutting up my card and throwing stuff at me" she giggles and does that laugh where they cover their mouth and then puts her hand on top of mine and tells me "I'm not the violent type" I wanted to tell her well YOU AINT MY TYPE EITHER GIRL BYE. The thirst is real... Somebody get this girl a sprite. But I gave her the official girl bye look.....