What's going on with these chicks in 2012?

So this chick I used to run thru hits me out of the blue. You know the call... Where they are putting out feelers... "Oh, I was just thinking about you... I didn't want anything just wondering how YOU're doing" blah blah...

I'm old enough to know what this is. So I hit her with "So what are you thinking about me?" I throw the bait out and wait for the nibble.... WHAM!!!!! No nibble.. I got a full bite... "Oh I was thinking about how you used to blow my back out" So being the fisherman that I am.. I set the hook. I'm talking Bassmaster Classic would have been proud of me. "So you miss that huh? Well we need to revisit that real soon."

So we end the call and I tell her that I'll be in touch. Now I have no intention on driving back down that street ever, due to this girl being on of those people that ALWAYS have something negative going on. You know the type, every time you talk to them they got a problem. Problems with their car, kids, job, money etc etc...

So I call her in a few weeks and I'm like hey what's up. How you doing. Totally expecting something negative. She's like "I'm fine, how are you" I tell her that I have been thinking about out last conversation just to see if I still had that fish on the hook. She then proceeds to not only break the line but also take my best lure. :(

She blindsides me with the "I have found Christ, and I'm trying to live my life right. But we can still be friends......"

WTF

I was speechless... and that doesn't happen to me. So I respond with the first thing that came to mind. "GOOD LUCK WITH THAT" She asks me which part.. I told her BOTH!!!

So I chalk one up to the big guy upstairs.... No worries... About two weeks later I get a text from her. I'm like, damn that didn't last long. She hits me with the I just wanted to see how you were line. I'm like WHY? We go back and forth for like 5 minutes about how she is my friend and she still worries about me etc.

Then she hits me with it......




CAN I BORROW $80...........................

#Girl BYE

So I had to make a quick run thru Kaiser this morning to drop off my cpap machine. In and Out 5min is what I told myself when I drove up. I get out, walking with a purpose past the line of people getting flu shots down to respiratory medicine. I wait in line for what feels like two football games. And I finally get to the front where I'm greeted by this young plump lady with a thick tongue. You know the type, she starts talking with a lisp. She puts on this big KOOL-aide smile and batting her eyes and asks me for my card etc.

I hand her my card and my machine and she starts to go through the bag to make sure all the parts to the machine were there. She then looks me DEAD IN MY EYE and tell me. "You know you look just like my Ex.... I'm like what is he doing in here" I try and play it off like I didn't hear her but she is staring at me like Urkle thinking about Laura Winslow.

I tell her "Well don't start cutting up my card and throwing stuff at me" she giggles and does that laugh where they cover their mouth and then puts her hand on top of mine and tells me "I'm not the violent type" I wanted to tell her well YOU AINT MY TYPE EITHER GIRL BYE. The thirst is real... Somebody get this girl a sprite. But I gave her the official girl bye look.....

Idiots!!!!

I'm not in a bad mood..I'm in a ''hey if I get the opportunity to punch someone in the face today, I'm taking it" mood! When you work in the service industry you have to have lots of patience and understanding. I have none of both. I'm so fucking sick of people.... Why do you call me with a problem that clearly you already know how to fix it? Hell if you are that smart, why did you break your computer in the first place? I've been saying it since last year and I truly mean it. I'm not fuckin with niggas in 2012. Now I don't use the term to indicate any race of people but more so STUPID people. I have had to deal with 3 types of niggas this year and they are really close to getting me to slap someone in the mouth. Type 1. The person who gets a virus on their computer and then proceeds to argue with me when I tell them how or where it came from. THEY never did anything wrong. They didn't go to that site, downloaded that illegal software or click on that link. They argue with you about how magically the computer contracted this virus. FUCKING IDIOT. STAY OFF THE PORN SITES. Type 2. The person who brings your computer over to get fixed but doesn't have any money to pay for it. Nigga I ain't Popeye and you aint Wimpy. NO YOU CAN'T PAY ME Tuesday for a HAMBURGER TODAY. If you don't have no money you don't need your computer right away. STOP WASTING MY TIME ASSHOLE Type 3. If you have a desktop computer with a 28.8k modem go kill yo self. Don't bring me your old ass computer talking about it's just so slow... Yea it is, it's old as hell. No I can't speed it up.. No deleting music or photos won't make it run faster. DEFRAG don't do shit asshole, stop trying to use tech terms as if you knew what you were talking about. It's 2012. Go to Costco and buy something new. CHEAP BASTARD.

Sooo I finally shook my Stalker....

So I've been MIA for a bit doing the REAL LIFE thing (FACEBOOK). I'd been spending most of my time in the private secret groups of Facebook with all the other pervs. One group in particular has a high amount of foolishness and phuckery going on. That's where I first met my stalker. She had been on my friends list before but the stalking didn't begin until then.

Now this chick looks old enough to be my mother yet she was actually only 5 calendar years older than me. Normally I'd chalk it up to me looking good for my age but nope, she just looks like an old lady. You all know how it starts... The abundance of likes on EVERY thing you post. The agreeing with EVERY thing you post even when you're dead wrong. The comments when you check in places... "And you went without me.... I love that place... Let me know when you're going there again etc etc..." No bitch... NO!!

It started being super obvious to EVERYONE that she was all up in my mix. Now I fancy myself a ladies man. A bonafide closer when it comes to the ladies, but this here.. NO MA'AM.

My sister and other friends tried to run interference and scare her off, but this chick was like a bad case of Athletes foot. She just kept coming back. Finally I had (had) enough. I know this might come as a shock to you readers but some people say I can be quite mean. I had to take matters into my own hands. I started talking trash to her. She laughed it off at first and I went harder and harder. She finally broke last week.

I must say, I'm relieved.. She removed me from her friends list, left the group and attempted to curse me out. All the while I finally understood why I was so upset about it all. It finally clicked. BITCH I'm out of your league. I'm way to cute for you to even THINK you had a chance. In fact I'm down right offended. I must be letting myself slip if this GURILLABOPOTOMUS thought she could get this. Seriously, either you give yourself more credit than you should EVER, or I'm slipping in my pimpin. Now, I've banged my share of ugly chicks. But that was me doing charity work but this here.....HELL NO!

At least I don't have to look over my shoulders... My stalker is gone and that my friends is a good thing...