Forgotten

So, birthday has passed and I get an email yesterday saying I'm sorry, forgive me, happy birthday. Now missing my birthday is a capital offense punishable by permanent ignore in my book. The average chick is discard like old hot dog water for not calling before noon on my birthday. Special chicks are deleted and never spoken to again for not acknowledging my birthday, but what about one of the women that I can say that I have truly loved in my life? What is the punishment for someone that close to me? We aren't talking someone that I just met at a club or online. This girl has been a part of my life since way back.

She has yet to call still. Her email made it worse. She had the nerve to try and flip it back on me like it's my fault. It's not that I'm anti marriage. I just don't see myself doing it again anytime soon. But she is one that I would consider it. She is one I would move across the country to be with if my kids were grown and out of the house. I'm in to this girl that much and she breaks the biggest rule in my book.

We email back and forth and the emails start getting hostile. She knows she fucked up and she knows I won't just let it go. I want to know why. I press the issue and something is wrong. She isn't telling me everything and I know it. I know she is with someone and she brings up my marriage. The fact that I never told her I got married. She found out from my mother. She has always kept in touch with my mother and grandparents. It's been damn near 20 years and my grandfather still talks about how I should have married that girl. I don't have the heart to tell him she was married for most of the time we were together.

My mother hated my wife. I say hate but that isn't a strong enough word. I think my mother called her and told her purposely. She has always loved "her". I'd show up at my moms house sometimes when I was in the Navy and "she" would be there. Having been there visiting for some time and I not know anything about it.

Having said all this, it is that much more hurtful that she didn't at least call or text. She emailed how she still loves me and thinks about me all the time. So she is living with some dude and engaged. I know she didn't want to tell me that but I got it out of her. She was backed into a corner and when I see blood I go all out like a shark. I had a few days to think about it and finally came to a decision.

Delete.......

Delete her from my contacts, out of my phone and from my email. It's a wrap. If "WE" were going to happen it would have already. Now people reading might think I'm overreacting and would go back etc. But those who know me, know how I am. Especially about my birthday. For someone who supposedly holds me in such high regard and I feel the same for them, to just disregard the single most sacred thing to me is inexcusable.