I tell you I can't make this stuff up...

Actually transcripts from some chick that hit me up on yahoo.

Brandi: hello I love your eyes
Darnell: thank you
Brandi: how are you
Darnell: good and you?
Brandi: good as I can be
Brandi: so what ever happened to you showin me another pic
Brandi: Ill show you a recent one
Darnell: another pic of what?
Brandi: your entire face
Brandi: all I see is your eyes
Darnell: you obviously have me confused with someone else but ok i'll play along
Brandi: I dont
Brandi: I asked a long time ago
Darnell: i just put this pic up
Brandi: I appologized cause I thought you had become offended by me or my big mouth
Brandi: are you still there
Brandi: or am I interupting you
Darnell: yes
Darnell: im here
Brandi: ok
Brandi: so you have great eyes
Darnell: ty

So now I start to fuck with her.

Brandi: Im not just getting fresh with you
Darnell: thatts too bad
Brandi: haha
Brandi: you are funny
Brandi: I dont like to get dirty before I know you
Darnell: but after you its ok?
Darnell: so tell me something about you that i don't already know
BrandiI love to fish
Brandi: I havent gone in 18yrs
Darnell: Yea, that's love
Darnell: So tell me about your last relationship. why did it end, what are you looking for now and how would your ex describe you
Brandi: I needed too much sex
Brandi: hes 48
Brandi: and hes wont finish his divorce
Brandi: He would say I am humble sexy and crazy
Brandi: but that my heart is huge
Brandi: he calls me Cpt. Save a ho
Darnell: So are you saying that you needed sex to much and he couldn't hang because he is 48? How old are you? And define wanted to much sex
Brandi: he is 48 im 31
Brandi: I like to have sex at least 3-4 times aweek
Darnell: and that was too much for him?
Brandi: yep
Darnell: so that was why you broke up? I take it you broke up with him?
Brandi: yep
Brandi: I was only gettin it once a week maybe twice then he was only servin me once every two weeks
Darnell: so did the younger men satisfy you? or you are still on that mission to be pleased?
Brandi: well I enjoyed the sex because I was finally able to have someone go all night with me I love 4-5 hours of crazy ass love making and hot sex
Brandi: but I still cant cum
Darnell: maybe it's you
Brandi: I dont know why probably cause im not in love with them
Brandi: maybe its cause im fat

Now I start just acting up

Darnell Jenkins: that could be it
Brandi: the Dr. says when a woman gains too much weight it can happen
Darnell: Oh yea, so fat girls can't cum? I never knew that
Brandi: I dont know
Darnell: i'm gonna have to ask some big girls that I know, if they can reach climax
Brandi: Im sure this wasnt what you had in mind when you signed up to meet ppl
Brandi: he is a lil shorter than most
Darnell: yea this is a very interesting convo especially seeing how i don't know you
Darnell: ok i just asked 4 girls that are all big girls and they all said they don't have any problem cumming
Brandi: not knowing me must make you not want to get to know me
Brandi: especially now
Brandi: im pretty embarrassed now
Darnell: why now?
Brandi: so I dont know what to say now
Brandi: because I was wanting to get to know you but I am a very Honest person
Brandi: my honesty has put me in this position
Darnell: i see. so what makes you want toget to know me?
Brandi: anways I liked the trojan sweatshirt and I was gonna rag on you for being a fan
Brandi: my 10year old loves the bruins
Darnell: sorry for that
Darnell: So just so you know. I don't like having sex 4-5 hours at a time
Darnell: I like to get it done within 1 hour
Brandi: so does that mean you arent interested
Darnell: i'm just letting you know
Brandi: well if its good and it puts you to sleep than thats all that counts right
Darnell: no i like to cum
Brandi: I guess knowing what you know your turned off by me
Brandi: its cool
Darnell: i didn't say i was turned off, why would you think that? cause i don't want to fuck all night?
Brandi: Im just a person tryin to find another person to hang with and share with
Brandi: no Im sorry
Brandi: I just have not been very popular
Brandi: Im a bigg girl
Darnell Jenkins: ooohhh? how big is bigg?
Brandi: and I get a bunch of shit from my ex
Brandi: 285
Brandi: 5'6"
Brandi: Green eyes
Brandi: light brown hair
Im losing weight cause this year after the baby I became a diabetic
Brandi: and I want to live a healthy life
Brandi: Ive lost 10.5 lbs in the last 9 weeks
Brandi: not alot I know but im trying
Darnell: you had a baby this year already?
Brandi: I just want to be able to play in the park with my kids
Brandi: 6/9/07
Brandi: sorry she's gonna be two
Brandi: in june
Brandi: your eyes are so soulfull
Darnell: wait, i thought you said you had a baby this year
Brandi: not this year sorry last summer or twhat ever
Brandi: this pic was takin this mornin
Darnell: ok so last summer or summer before last
Darnell: which one is it?
Darnell: Damn, 285 is pretty big.

I couldn't go anymore, I had to stop this. Not only was she big, but also stupid, horny and just nasty. I'm going to bed. This is what I have to deal with.