Who Do I Look Like

So I met this girl online (Hey she hit me up) and we start chatting off and on for some time. She tells me that she is looking to relocate to Sunny SoCAL. I'm like cool well let me know where you want to move and I'll help you get settled. So days / weeks go on and we are still chatting, talking on the phone etc etc. All the while she is telling me how much she hates where she is and she is going to move. We did the whole online dating format. We exchanged numbers, photos, talked about sex etc etc. She tells me she wanted to come out and look at some spots and get her license and a P.O. Box. I'm like cool, come out one weekend and I'll pick you up at your hotel and show you around. I could tell in her voice she was wanting me to invite her to my house. 1. WHO DO I LOOK LIKE?

So a few weeks later I shoot her a text and I get no response. I call later on that day and she answers. She tells me that things fell through and she was staying out there until she found a job out here. She tells me that she met someone that she really liked and wanted to see how things played out. I'm like ok cool, take care.
I was talking to my boy in K.C. about it and told him that I thought she wanted me to fly her in and let her stay here free etc.

A few months later I get this call from a number I don't recognize. It's local so I answer it. Guess who it is on the other end. Yep, it's ole girl and she was out here. She tells me how she had moved out here and staying with some guy. I'm thinking to myself aw she found a sucker after all. She tells me she wants to meet for lunch etc. I agree to meet her and she tells me how she isn't happy, how she met this guy online etc and he is still on dating sites, blah blah blah. So she is coming to me for advice now. I'm sipping on my iced tea and taking it all in. She is feeling me out and trying to see if I'll play captain-save-a-heffa.

Over the next few months I get the random texts, phone calls, emails. She tells me how she is so unhappy but doesn't know what to do because she isn't working and it's his house so she doesn't want to get out of pocket. All the while I'm getting hints that she wants me to save her. She's asked about how many bedrooms my house has, the schools in my area etc etc. Finally I just had enough of it. I let her know, she made her bed and sometimes we don't do a good job of it and damnit it's lumpy. I let her know that without a job she can't even be my friend let alone think she can move in with me.

I'm telling my boy from K.C. all this and he is like you know she is gonna try and sex you up in hopes that it's that good and you will let her stay. Now, this was funny to me because I don't let girls that I know for years stay in a room that I'm not currently in. If i'm in the kitchen then damnit you are at the table. If I'm doing laundry park your ass on that couch in the garage and if I'm on the shitter hand me some toilet paper!. :)

Do females really think they got it like that? Do women think their stuff is that good to make me lose my damn mind? Do they think I'm desperate (she wasn't that cute in person). Do they think my sisters and my mamma would even let that crap fly?
Better yet, WHO DO I LOOK LIKE?

I'm a squirrel and this is my tree and these are my nuts~