TOMFOOLERY! PT1 June 23 '08

So I'm bored at work and started reading the blogs of some of my MYSPACE friends. My sister is the daily reporter, posting blogs on Real World. My boy Marv post on anything from 2girls1cup.com to R-Kelly and so on and so forth. So I decided to post a blog today of my own. I have a question to all of you bloggers. WHY? Now some of you I can dig it and can see what you are thinking. Other's though? WOWWWWWW (in my best flavor flav voice) You need to get a job with benefits so you can get medical insurance and go talk to a shrink. Some of you post some very personal and probably too personal for the web info about your life. So I dedicate this blog to those of you who need a hug.

It's 2008. Can we all agree on that? Woman, stop trying to pass off those photos from 98 as your most current photo. The out of date hair-dos give it away. The cross colors also let us know the true date. Stop posting photos where you cut out yo baby daddy. We can tell someone was standing beside you by the pose. Come on. It's 2008. You have access to a digital camera, cell phone, or regular camera and Wal-Mart (they can upload it for you). What's up with the Glamour shots? You know damn well you don't look like that. Hell, that was your best day and you don't look like that. How about you put up a photo within the last 3 months, solo, with the regular everyday you? Stop trying to deceive a brutha.

Let me clue you ladies in on a few more things. In your profile words like THICK are being used incorrectly. THICK is what J-LO, Lisa Nicole Carson, Lisa Raye and Tyra Banks are. Monique is not THICK. Let's take it back old school. Women, learn to cook! So many of you tell me, I'm looking for a "GOOD" man. I'm looking for this / that. Ok, what you gonna do when you find him? Bring him to your house for takeout? Hell no, learn to cook! Or learn to cut the grass and wash the cars! LEARN TO COOK! It's a lost art with women. I know you got to work etc etc. But you got to eat to live. And keep your house clean. No dude wants to roll to your crib and it looks worse than his. It's suppose to smell good, look fresh and clean and feel like a girl lives there, not a pack of hyenas.

Learn about sports. Know the names of the local teams, rivals, best player etc. Guys like girls who like sports. You don't have to be a diehard fan, just know enough so if a guy ask you to go to a game you can hold a basic conversation about it. If a dude likes the Lakers (God Forbid) then learn about Kobe's snitching ways and how they lost by 39 points in the championship. (sorry I got side tracked) Anyway you get the point.

And my last point for the ladies. And don't worry I got plenty of stuff for the dudes out here too. Get your hygiene in order. You don't have to have long acrylic nails but don't have nails that look like you been biting them. Get your feet done. No dude wants to rub up against your feet and get scratched! Keep the V-jay jay trimmed neat. A dude isn't going to visit your house if he can't find the door.

Stop looking for a man to come rescue you. That probably isn't going to happen. Learn to take care of yourself, do for yourself, love yourself (not like that you freaks). Guys are attracted to confidence. If you put off a confident vibe, guys will notice. You put off a weak vibe, guys will notice that and will walk all over ya.

I'm just a squirrel trying to get a nut.....